okay, I’m always on the lookout for new items for my shop.  So I found these mints called eat whatever .  I looked at the website and then I clicked on where to buy them.  I often find wholesalers in this way.  Call them and find out the terms and if I can afford to have the product.  First I found Earth Matters.  It seemed like a nice organic food place.  I decided to check out all the sites to see if any of them were close to Nebraska and what type of places carried these mints.  Next I saw Amish Fine Foods …strange but okay.  Next I saw Babeland okay now…that is NOT a mint place…or is it…????  How unusual…hmmmmmmmmm.  Maybe I don’t need mints maybe I need……

Hell…it’s Friday.  Friday night to be exact.  Time flies when you are havin’ fun.

The day started with me opening the door to the garage and almost stepping on an inert body.  Not human…animal.  Pickles the Queen cat rushed in past my legs yowling with pleasure.  She’d left another “present” for us.  I looked a bit and then quickly made my escape.  I couldn’t face it.  Not today.  I later chickened out and called home leaving messages on the boys phones.  “Please pick up the dead animal and give it a proper burial…aka throw the fuckin’ thing OUT AND HURRY!!!”  Mark later told me the animal was a baby possum.

GREAT

You all KNOW how I like possums.

I did get my “new boy in town haircut and dye job” today.  THANK YOU CINDY!   I also drank Bacardi Silver Mojito which I pronounce MOGEETO… like a hick.  who cares   AND we drank a Bacardi Silver Raz.  I prefer MOFOGEETO myself.  Cindy did my hair and then we swam in my Aunt’s pool.  Well, we held our drinks and floated after I skimmed off the June bugs.

bliss

people…drinks, hair dye and water…joyyyy.

Later that same day…like an hour later when I got home.  The guy came over to work on our sprinklers and waaa laaaaa  he says, “Hey, go check out that brown bag in my pickup and bring it here!”  So, of course I did and it was Clamato Beer.  Ice Cold.  HELL YAH!  My day baybe.  We guzzled on our deck and discussed life, death, church, raising kids, sex and food.  It was good.  It was very good.

Now…I’m TIRED.  I can’t figure out why…

I heard the first locusts two days ago.  I saw lightening bugs a month ago.  The air is coolish.  I’m thinking of football and the bite of frost.  I don’t want to hurry things along, but hell yes I do.  Wake me in September.  That’s when I’ll clean my house.  Wipe off sticky rings of soda pop from my coffee tables, throw away the thousands of potato chip bags, sunflower seeds and bread crusts.  I’ll make time to match the socks and make the beds and wash every dish.  I’ll clean out the leftovers and paint the bathroom.  I might be able to face sweeping out the garage and organizing the un-used toy room.  It’s a possibility I might be able to gather all the old clothes up and take them to the thrift shop in tidy piles neatly marked Large, X Large and Big Assed Big.

Supposedly watermelon can make you react the same as if taking viagra.  Read this article, I guess it relaxes your BLOOD VESSELS allowing for schWIIINNNNGGGGG!

I think someone has a fruit fetish and made that up.

psychos.

Now, everytime I’m at the grocery store and I see a guy buying a melon, I’m gonna know why.  wink wink wink…he’s gotta a “wood” problem.

I’m watching a woman popping pills by the handful, psychotropics, anti depressants, pain meds whatever she can find. She is desperate. I’m watching INTERVENTION.
I wonder if I need intervened for my addiction. It’s…Sweet Tarts. I just text messaged Andrew and Katie with a plea, Please bring Sweet Tarts when you come home. So far…I haven’t added…or don’t come home! So far, I’m not at the end of my rope. It’s close. Hark! The sound of my phone being messaged. Katie says, YES…only it will take me 4 hours to get it there, but yes I’ll bring you Sweet Tarts. GOD I love that girl. Hurry Katie…hurry. Now another message. Andrew is BRINGING ME SWEET TARTS!!! Man, I raised me some good kids.
I may just snort these.
…is that bad?

These are the photos that were in the local paper. I am going to buy them as they are so cute. Until then, check out the black and whites.

I don’t have the donut eating contest pics yet…but they are funny.  Here are a few of the parade shots.  Cindy Jo’s (one of my Batista/cook/entertainers) husband was nice enough to drive my bug in the parade and he followed our “Nuts for Donuts” float.  All in all it was good.  I was really too tired to enjoy much of it.  Long week.  The donuts were still “wet” from paint, I couldn’t find an outfit and thus wore only a wig, jeans and my Disco Donut shirt and the groovy flowers and decorations kept flying off of my bug.  Oh well…next year…different story.

Tonight, in a fit of starvation, I made something stinky.  No NOT THAT…food people…food…get your heads out of the gutter.  I made Cheddarwurst Braats and Sauerkraut.  Sadly, the kraut wasn’t kosher and that’s the GOOD STUFF.  I made do with the ancient kraut in a can I found in the pantry.  Only other thing there was the crushed remains of chips, 599 packets of diet tea on the go single packets, 43 boxes of jello, molasses, moldy bread and that’s about it.  I burned the stuff which didn’t make it smell any better.  NOW…the house smells like a shit infested hell hole.  

I think I will have to bake something to get the schtink out…but what can one bake with the above listed ingredIents?  Nothing I can think of.

damn

The donut contest was awesome.  We had about 30 entries before we started and in total…about 50.  We strung a clothes line  between two 10 foot ladders and dangled our donuts from there.  We had about 10-15 contestants lined up at a time and it was sweet.  They were like cows in a stanchion.  We had to disqualify several who attempted to use their hands.  We had one couple who were eating off each others shoulders.  I passed out prizes like I was at a penny fair.  Our time limit was 3 minutes and in total it took about 1/2 hour.  I had no one to take pictures.  Hopefully someone did and will send me some…sigh.

am tired now…must go to bed…yawn

Medicine Creek Days is over. I can’t say I’m sorry.  It was ALOT of work.  You will laugh when you hear what I think alot of work was.  I mean, making tractor tire tubes retain latex paint IS WORK people.  I painted tubes and painted tubes and painted tubes and taaa daaaaa…they looked like giant glazed donuts.  I was still working on them at 9am on Saturday morning and we were to be at the parade line up at 9:45.   Needless to say, the paint was wet, I was sweating and my disco outfit SUCK ED.  It was like this huge leopard skin outfit that my boobs hung out of and that accentuated my beer belly.  I decided not to wear it.  I tried on Katies swing choir sparkly dress and could wear it…if I left it unzipped halfway…SHIT.  I ended up throwing on a black Farah Faucet wig and my DONUT TESTER Shirley K’s Coffee Shop shirt and jeans.  yah…some disco queen I was.  At the end of the parade I was D U N .  But, I said, “Hey Mark let’s take these fucking donuts and go to the river and tube!”  Surprisingly Mark said, “OK”.  So, we did.  We jumped in at the river bridge and 2 or so hours later ended up at the diversion dam.  It was great.  We saw deer, blue herons, cranes, no snakes, and several ducks.  I got burned in places that shouldnt get burned and I liked it so much I asked Cindy to go the next day.  We did.  The only difference from Saturday was the water was a foot lower and naughty Cindy and I took a cooler of beer.  It wasss good. Except I burned myself silly.

more later…must go